Surprise Read online

  SURPRISE

  SURPRISE

  Edited by Tinder James

  A Racy Pages Book

  Published by Rubicund Publishing LLC

  Duluth, MN USA

  Copyright © 2010 Tinder James

  Racy Pages is a trademark of

  Rubicund Publishing LLC

  419 South 19th Ave East

  Duluth, MN 55812 USA

  www.racypages.com

  All rights reserved.

  Except for brief passages for review, no part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the written permission of the publisher. Each author retains the copyright to his or her individual work.

  ISBN 978-0-9843714-0-2

  Printed in the U.S.A.

  To Bill for his love and support and to

  Astrid for her help and astute observations.

  Contents

  * * *

  Midnight Rodeo

  Lux Zakari

  Filthy New Romantics

  Harper Hull

  Adam Gets Perspective

  Kyoko Church

  In Real Life

  Janine Ashbless

  As Good as it Gets

  E. C. Jarvis

  Burden in Hand

  Jake Barnes

  Leslie Goosemoon Rides Again

  Giselle Renarde

  Rush Hour Squirm

  Lilycat

  Temptation Like a Muthafucka

  Alicia C. McGhee

  Penpals

  Jax

  The Best Defense

  Lee Minxton

  Shopping

  Miel Rose

  Cherry

  Janine Ashbless

  Goddard’s Curse

  Paul L. Bates

  Why Zombies Make the Best Lovers

  Lilycat

  Detachable Penis

  Stephen Smith

  Addiction

  Felix Baron

  Enhancement

  Theodore Carter

  In the Night

  Penelope Friday

  The Senator’s Perfect Wife

  S.T. Clemmons

  Surprise Party

  Giselle Renarde

  Tea and Kink

  Sam Jayne

  Old Flames

  Keesha Marie

  Unions

  Alex Wayne

  Explorations

  Stephanie Campisi

  Temporary Tattoo

  Annabel Eastland

  Restraining My Love

  Drake Benton

  About the Authors

  introduction

  * * *

  Few things are more intoxicating than letting ourselves be drawn into the hearts, minds, and imaginations of other people’s sex lives, and there is no more intimate way of indulging in that feeling than through the intellectual act of reading. Add interesting characters and a compelling situation and you have a story that satisfies not only your primal appetites, but your cerebral preferences as well. Now that I’ve characterized erotic literature as an essential part of every thinking and feeling person’s life, (and I believe it is) what makes this erotic anthology worth your time and money? Let me begin with the surprise package.

  Surprise has an inconspicuous cover design that won’t call attention to itself in public. Therefore, you can read it on your daily bus or train commute, at a café during your lunch break, while relaxing in the park, or on a leisurely vacation without revealing the nature of your reading selection to the people around you.

  While you’re enjoying the freedom of reading Surprise anywhere you like, you’ll discover the best thing about it is its variety. I cast a wide net with the theme surprise to capture the most desirable selections from a vast pool of talent. Gladly, it returned a bountiful catch with more than a few pearls. The rich array of characters and situations is such, however, that I am almost at a loss to find commonalities among the stories in order to describe the book. For example, I could say that the sex in Surprise is vanilla—except for the threesomes and LBT stories of course. I could say that the stories are all contemporary with nothing supernatural in them, no fiends lurking in the paragraphs—but there is actually one or two. And the characters in Surprise aren’t kinky—unless you take into consideration their fondness for bondage, devices, hot wax, and tuberous roots. See what I mean?

  The ribbon that does bind this array of stories together is its theme: surprise. Still, surprises can occur in many ways. In one scenario, a person springs a surprise on another, like the young man in Harper Hull’s “Filthy New Romantics.” He announces his carnal intentions at the top of the Eiffel Tower where he then ravishes his lover with the joyful exuberance of a true libertine—and that isn’t even the surprise.

  In some stories the surprises just keep coming, as in Janine Ashbless’ “In Real Life.” Her character is surprised to meet the man with whom she has already had cyber sex, surprised by the quiet fellow he turns out to be, surprised by her own feelings and undoubtedly surprised to find herself in such a hot story.

  Every story in Surprise has its own astonishing situation, unexpected turn of events or gratifying surprise ending. Without giving away any surprises, what follows is a little bit about each of the remaining stories. A few may even elicit tears—of laughter. Humorous stories in an erotic anthology are somewhat surprising, which is why they feel so at home here. In “As Good as it Gets,” E. C. Jarvis masters the nearly impossible by successfully combining quirky humor with hot sex. “Detachable Penis,” by Stephen Smith, is a darkly humorous account of a horrific fad in male accoutrement, and Theodore Carter’s “Enhancement” takes a sly look at the reason for a man’s newfound confidence.

  On the flip side of the humorous stories are the cautionary tales. Paul L. Bates creates a tortured predator in “Goddard’s Curse” and “The Senator’s Perfect Wife,” by S.T. Clemmons, is a chilling interpretation of The Stepford Wives that ends with a double twist.

  A problem-solving theme best describes these next three stories. Jake Barnes’ “Burden in Hand” is about a family man who uses his sex appeal to stave off the ill effects of a financial slump. “Adam Gets Perspective,” by Kyoko Church, details a no-nonsense housekeeper’s solution to her employer’s difficulties with writer’s block and noisy neighbors. “Addiction,” by Felix Baron, reveals the strategy that allows a woman to cope with her unusual dependency.

  Surprise sports two cowgirls. The first, in Lux Zakari’s “Midnight Rodeo,” works as a hotter than hot entertainer at a western bar. The second is the namesake of “Leslie Goosemoon Rides Again” by Giselle Renarde. In this story, Leslie rides roughshod over conventional society and gets the girl.

  Continuing in the spirit of women who get what they want, Kelly risks the wrath of two other people in her love rectangle because she has no choice but to pursue her desire in “Temptation Like A Muthafucka” by Alicia C. McGhee. Miel Rose’s “Shopping” follows two women on a shopping trip in which one does the giving and the other does the getting, yet both get what they want. “Temporary Tattoo,” by Annabel Eastland, illustrates a chance encounter at a tattoo parlor and Keesha Marie casts a fiery glow on May-December lovers in “Old Flames.”

  New sensations are the common element in these next four stories. First, Drake Benton’s “Restraining My Love” is an up-close and personal account of a man who pleasures his lover beyond reason using a carefully selected cache of adult toys. “Unions,” by Alex Wayne, is the strange tale of a coed and how she discovers her sexuality vicariously through her sister. “Tea and Kink,” by Sam Jayne, tells how a woman’s intuitive husband revives their sex life by being assertive and insertive, and Megan, the masseuse in “The Best Defense” by Lee Minxton, gives a hockey player a back-check he’ll not soon forget.


  Lastly, the smart and stunning flash fiction provides transition between stories and in most cases, a reason to smile. Lilycat creates her special brand of witty naiveté in “Why Zombies Make the Best Lovers” and “Rush Hour Squirm.” Jax really delivers a punchline in “Penpals” and Stephanie Campisi brings out the sexy side of an everyday situation in “Explorations.” “In the Night,” by Penelope Friday, points out yet another danger associated with sleeping aids and “Cherry,” by Janine Ashbless, smashes the myth of the good kisser. Finally, Giselle Renarde’s birthday girl in “Surprise Party” had no idea about her man’s ability to arrange a soiree.

  Thanks to these twenty-four daring men and women, Surprise is packed with entertainment value. Their talent for storytelling captures your imagination with likeable characters and interesting situations. Their stories touch your heart, head, spine, funny bone—and make you tingle in all the right places.

  Tinder James

  The shore of Lake Superior, Spring 2010

  Midnight Rodeo

  Lux Zakari

  Luke slunk into the dimly lit bar, his chin pressed against his collarbone and his stormy eyes on the scuffed, wooden floor. He hoped he didn’t look as out of place as he felt, but supposed it hardly mattered in a place like High Noon. Voices belonging to lonely, country crooners and the sounds of sad banjos floated out of a dented jukebox near the pool table while a few of the regulars occupied their usual seats, evenly spaced apart at the counter. They stared thousands of miles into their beers and wrote names they haven’t spoken in years on the wet countertop with their callused fingers.

  Choosing to avoid the rest of the patrons, Luke sat alone at a small, round table near a mechanical bull, which was positioned right in the center of the bar. He lit a cigarette just as the forty-something waitress shuffled over wearing a frown, too much turquoise eye makeup, and a leather butterfly barrette. She took his request, a shot of Jack, and when she returned with the drink and a cloth to wipe down his table, he’d already smoked half of his second cigarette beneath the wide, mysterious brim of his cream-colored hat. He mumbled a request to start a tab and she wandered off again with a pursed mouth and a half-hearted roll of her eyes that resembled a lazy flutter.

  He downed the whiskey and let it warm his throat and gut as he glanced around at the other few patrons. He wasn’t sure what he was doing there—only that last week his friend Tad had advised him, with a wink, to go to High Noon. “Trust me,” he’d assured him, a sloppy grin on his unshaven face. “It’s the best kept secret in town. One night at ’Noon and you’ll be asking, ‘Mary who?’”

  Mary. It’d been months, yet he still had her photograph, signed “Love, Mary” on the back, in his truck tucked up in the passenger side visor. Just thinking of her name had Luke feeling like the rest of the men in the bar looked. He supposed that they had their own Marys—girls with blonde sausage curls, thin cotton shirts unbuttoned to the tan valley between their breasts, quartz necklaces at their throats, and legs that seemed designed to wrap around a man. But if these men all had their own Marys, Luke wondered how special and original his own love was.

  Before he could dwell on the matter further, the lights in the bar dimmed and a single spotlight cut through the darkness, illuminating the mechanical bull. His heart started pounding without explanation. The heartbreaking twangs of the music playing on the jukebox came to a halt as a brassier, more brazen tune began, complete with saucy trumpets and suggestive guitars. He turned his head around for a glimpse of the expressions on the other men’s faces, but saw nothing except a long stretch of blackness. It was as if he was alone, surrounded by curiosity, fear and a lack of useful expectations.

  A tall, curvaceous woman with a mane of orange hair strolled out on stage in time to the music. She slinked out into the darkness beneath her blue cowboy hat and fringe of wispy bangs as she struck the pink palm of her hand with a riding crop. Luke was awestruck. He’d never seen anyone like her before in his life. She was shapely in all the right places, her breasts strained against her white denim top and the underside curve of her ass peeped out from beneath her matching cutoff denim shorts.

  The cowgirl paced suggestively in front of the stage, staring out at her faceless audience with eyes that assured a plethora of unspoken promises. Her hips swayed from side to side, she knew their hypnotic effect. Then she gave a smile that felt as though it was intended just for him (although he was smart enough to know better) and used a step stool to climb up on the mechanical bull. When she swung a leg over to straddle the machine, he thought he caught a glimpse of her pussy, but it was so quick he couldn’t discount the thought that he’d imagined it. Still, his cock throbbed in his jeans.

  The evocative song continued to float out from the speakers overhead, and the mechanical bull began to rock forward and backward slowly. The redhead rocked with it, her hips gyrating with the mechanized beast. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and with a curve to her lips, hit the side of the leather with her riding crop. The machine didn’t increase speed, but the move was effective just the same. Luke gratefully downed another shot that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

  The redhead slid the riding crop through one of the belt loops of her shorts and her hands went to her chest. Her head fell back and her long hair brushed against the small of her back as she kneaded her breasts through the denim fabric in time to the movements of the mechanical bull. Luke’s mouth went dry as the heels of her blue cowboy boots dug into the side of the bull, which she gripped with her thighs as it rotated, giving Luke and the rest of the audience, which he had completely forgotten about, a 180-degree view of the most unforgettable sight he’d ever seen.

  Then, as if in slow motion, the redhead began to tug open the metal buttons of her shirt, one by one, starting first with the buttons at her throat and working down to her navel. She pulled the shirt open, revealing a heavy-looking turquoise necklace hanging in the valley of her creamy white breasts and brightly rouged nipples. She shrugged the shirt off her shoulders, briefly pinning her arms behind her as she did so, and Luke clamped his teeth down on his lower lip to prevent himself from groaning aloud. She tossed the shirt on the floor and her fingers went back to her breasts as she continued to ride the bull, her fingers plucking her nipples to life.

  Her ride picked up speed, and she rocked harder against it. With one hand on her breast, her other slid down her stomach and teasingly dipped inside the front of her shorts, only to move back up her body again. Luke cracked his knuckles in anticipation and beads of sweat appeared on his forehead as her hand traveled back down to her shorts again to undo the button and ease down the zipper at an excruciatingly slow pace. The smile on her face assured her audience that she knew exactly what she was doing to every one of them.

  A graceful hand disappeared inside her zipper and her eyes fluttered closed. Luke watched, hypnotized, as her fingers moved beneath the white denim, rubbing circles over her clit. She leaned forward a little and let out a moan, leaving him to assume that she’d pushed a finger inside herself. He licked his dry lips as he watched her rock back and forth against her hand while letting out soft groans, not unlike a siren’s song.

  The mechanical bull slowed to the point where she could pull herself up and kneel on the leather seat. Maintaining her balance, she inched the denim shorts down over her hips and thighs, revealing her smooth, shapely ass and a tangle of coppery hair between her legs. Aside from her boots and her hat, she was now completely nude. Luke wiped his hot face with his hands and drew in a gulp of air as he shifted in his seat, his cock erect to the point of agony. He stared as she once again straddled the bull, wishing that he were the leather saddle between her milky thighs. She leaned back with a smile and gave the audience a full view of her pussy, weeping on the leather. Luke bit down on his hand as his toes curled inside his boots, half afraid he was going to pass out.

  The redhead grasped onto what Luke had initially assumed was the horn of the saddle, but now he saw that it was, in f
act, a thick, leather dildo. His lips parted in a silent groan as he watched her inch forward and position herself over it. Then she sank down slowly, inch by inch, letting out a breathy, extended gasp of pleasure. The music came to a stop and the only sounds that filled the room were her whimpers and the creaking of the mechanical bull as it picked up speed.

  She gripped onto the machine with her knees as she rose up and dropped down on the dildo again. Her motions increased as she moved in time to the rocking of the bull, which continued to spin in a lazy circle, giving the audience a complete view from all angles of the dildo pushing into her wet pussy. Luke could only imagine what it’d be like to have her ride him like that, and without even thinking about it, his hand dropped to the front of his pants where his cock was throbbing beneath the denim. Even that slight contact caused a shiver of gratification and relief to ripple through him.

  The redhead’s hands went to her breasts again and she pinched her rosy nipples to life, her moans and mumblings escalating with every downward thrust. She came down hard, pressing her clit against the seat and gyrating her hips, making sure to have plenty of contact with the leather. Finally, she grabbed onto the front of the seat, giving herself enough leverage to fuck the dildo with an intensity that surprised Luke. With her back arched and her head thrown back she let out a final scream of pleasure as her thighs shook and dug into the side of the mechanical bull. She remained frozen in that position, as if to savor the moment as completely as she could. Goosebumps appeared on her breasts and arms. The leather dildo was slick with her juices.

  Then the spotlight disappeared, plunging the room back into total darkness. Luke swallowed a few times, his mouth dry. When the houselights rose after a few minutes, he could see that the cowgirl was gone and that he was surrounded by a bar crowded with men he’d never heard creep in. All of them looked silent and ashamed, yet satisfied. Luke knew he wore a similar expression on his own face. Then he noticed the stickiness clinging to the hair on his thighs and realized that he had come right in his jeans, without ever being touched, something that hadn’t occurred since he was about fourteen.